The weather the past few days has been beautiful; high seventies and sunny (or as sunny as we get here). However before this onslaught of wonderful summer Shanghai was confronted with about two straight weeks of rain! I can already hear you saying, ‘but Dan, you love rain!’ And it’s true; I love it in all forms: light rain, heavy rain, and misty rain… all fantastic. I just don’t love Shanghai rain.
When it rains here, instead of becoming mysterious like other cities do, Shanghai’s dirt and pollution are brought to the forefront of the daily experience. The inescapable feeling that this rain is somehow eating away at your skin, dissolving your watch, or could be bottled and sold as a household bathroom cleaner called ‘chock-full-o-acid’.
Crossing the streets becomes perilous, not because of the dimwitted drivers, but because like the Everglades it is a slow moving river of mud. I’ve learned not to step on the ‘white’ strips of the crosswalk because when covered in mud they are far more slippery than any winter ice I’ve encountered back home. When drainage doesn’t work properly there is a puddle of sludge eerily the same color as the ma-la-tong soup I had last night. If any of this gets on your clothes you have a 50-1 shot of becoming the 5th Ninja Turtle.
To top it off, the Chinese love umbrellas. I’ve done extensive studies and polls and discovered that nobody over six feet tall uses an umbrella because of the unknown social unrest and horror they cause – they poke us tall people in the eye!! With umbrellas every where in China (for both sunshine and rain), I hopelessly try to meander my way down the sidewalk, navigating huge umbrellas jamming the walk, ducking and dodging every last pointy end. It’s such a frustrating and maddening experience the best option is usually to just walk in the street and take my chances with Shredder.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Stumbling Blocks
Flames and Riots!! No, I’m not talking about Paris in ’68 (or 2005, or 1780 for that matter). I’m talking about the Olympic flame and Chinas brief but calculated hatred of all things French. No doubt if it were not for their own skyrocketing bread costs, the people of the PRC would have been smashing baguettes underfoot. Being a westerner I am both proud and horrified by China’s reaction. I congratulate the people on the people for organizing a boycott of Carfour (France’s Wal-Mar. I pity them really; they can’t even avoid protests in China). On the other hand, I’m horrified that people of China are grossly unprepared to enter into a discussion of world events. The people I work with are managers in global corporations (HSBC, Mitsubishi, etc), yet some suffer from a narrow mindedness that prevents any positive discussion. I’ve spoken with a few students about it (we’re very much not supposed to) and though most realize the world is big place with real problems, some don’t! Among those that don’t there are unique and different reasons than I am used to among people. They are:
‘The Truman Show’ Effect – In this movie, Jim Carrey lives in a world made for him by a ‘benevolent’ TV show director, never knowing there is a larger outside world with different ideas and opinions. People in China often end up like Jim Carrey, unaware not just of the other arguments, but unschooled in the philosophy and logic required to understand these arguments. Perhaps it is rooted deeper than the government, with the history of Chinese Philosophy vastly different from our own, but without any education in rational discourse (why study debate when there can be none?) the people are left to accept what they are told and never question it. Just like Jim Carrey.
The ‘Terrible Two’s’ Effect – At one point or another in our lives, most of us were two years old, and if psychiatry and biology have anything to say, we were probably miserable little children to be around. Two year olds are old enough to be conscious of themselves, but lack the consciousness to be fully aware of the feelings of people around them. This isn’t to say that Chinese people act like two year olds all the time, but when asked ‘are there problems in China?’ they respond with ‘my family is good, so no.’ How can one persons family be an adequate sample size for a country of a billion? When confronting a student with the issue of human rights violations in China, I’ve been told, “but the people are happy, so why not leave us alone?” It’s as if they refuse to accept that people are suffering in their country because they themselves are not suffering.
The ‘Hey, Scientology Might Be Right’ Effect – I don’t think a spaceship full of aliens blew themselves up with a bomb and that their souls inhabit human beings causing sickness and death, but I can’t prove it’s not true or convince a believer otherwise. In much the same way I cannot prove there are human rights violations, much less that the government is stifling their subjects thought development to someone who doesn’t want to believe it. The best we could do would be to agree to disagree, but just like with a Scientologist, it’s not an option.
The ‘Nationalism’ Effect – China is more nationalistic than the United States, and that is saying something! In my opinion Nationalism may be the single most devastating force in the world. Nationalism is a rallying cry and a fire starter. The people of China make no distinction between the government and themselves, meaning when the world media says, ‘China prohibits free speech, they are repressive goons’, the people see it as a personal attack on them. While teaching I asked for examples of things that could happen to someone which would make them have a bad day. One of the common responses was, “the world hates the Olympics.” When I reminded the student that doesn’t make them have a bad day the same way loosing their wallet would they chided me insisting that any slight to China is a slight to them all!
There you have it, four damaging effects on the discourse of thought in China. Perhaps someday after the government releases its grip on information we can have meaningful discussions. Until then we’ll have to deal with dumbfounded looks of distrust when the world suggest something bad happened in China in 1989.
‘The Truman Show’ Effect – In this movie, Jim Carrey lives in a world made for him by a ‘benevolent’ TV show director, never knowing there is a larger outside world with different ideas and opinions. People in China often end up like Jim Carrey, unaware not just of the other arguments, but unschooled in the philosophy and logic required to understand these arguments. Perhaps it is rooted deeper than the government, with the history of Chinese Philosophy vastly different from our own, but without any education in rational discourse (why study debate when there can be none?) the people are left to accept what they are told and never question it. Just like Jim Carrey.
The ‘Terrible Two’s’ Effect – At one point or another in our lives, most of us were two years old, and if psychiatry and biology have anything to say, we were probably miserable little children to be around. Two year olds are old enough to be conscious of themselves, but lack the consciousness to be fully aware of the feelings of people around them. This isn’t to say that Chinese people act like two year olds all the time, but when asked ‘are there problems in China?’ they respond with ‘my family is good, so no.’ How can one persons family be an adequate sample size for a country of a billion? When confronting a student with the issue of human rights violations in China, I’ve been told, “but the people are happy, so why not leave us alone?” It’s as if they refuse to accept that people are suffering in their country because they themselves are not suffering.
The ‘Hey, Scientology Might Be Right’ Effect – I don’t think a spaceship full of aliens blew themselves up with a bomb and that their souls inhabit human beings causing sickness and death, but I can’t prove it’s not true or convince a believer otherwise. In much the same way I cannot prove there are human rights violations, much less that the government is stifling their subjects thought development to someone who doesn’t want to believe it. The best we could do would be to agree to disagree, but just like with a Scientologist, it’s not an option.
The ‘Nationalism’ Effect – China is more nationalistic than the United States, and that is saying something! In my opinion Nationalism may be the single most devastating force in the world. Nationalism is a rallying cry and a fire starter. The people of China make no distinction between the government and themselves, meaning when the world media says, ‘China prohibits free speech, they are repressive goons’, the people see it as a personal attack on them. While teaching I asked for examples of things that could happen to someone which would make them have a bad day. One of the common responses was, “the world hates the Olympics.” When I reminded the student that doesn’t make them have a bad day the same way loosing their wallet would they chided me insisting that any slight to China is a slight to them all!
There you have it, four damaging effects on the discourse of thought in China. Perhaps someday after the government releases its grip on information we can have meaningful discussions. Until then we’ll have to deal with dumbfounded looks of distrust when the world suggest something bad happened in China in 1989.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Grind
The daily struggle to survive in a foreign country is often greater than the struggle to survive at home for a number of reasons; different language, different food, different cultural norms. I however, have encountered a different type of struggle that is wearing me down - my job has odd hours.
Beginning with my 8am alarm to make my 9am Chinese lesson and returning home around 10pm, my days often last over 14 hours before I can relax. Even when I can relax at night, I'll need to go to sleep within an hour or two of getting home, or I won't have enough energy to make it through the next day. I've discovered everyone needs 1 more hour of sleep than normal while in China (I blame the pollution for causing our bodies to slow down so much). This leaves me with almost no time to do things I enjoy on a daily basis, and my weekends are often spent catching up on sleep! It's not a life!
The sad solution is to skip my Chinese lessons in the morning, which I have been doing more and more often. I'm beginning to realize I likely won't ever become fluent and that certainly is a knock on the motivation to run my body ragged trying to learn. If I sleep in, I can have a relaxing morning, eat breakfast, and read a little bit before showing up to work at about 12:30. That's a bid difference than 9am, and I don't get to go home until my last class finishes at 9:30 either way.
I'm still learning to balance learning Chinese and having a life. It's not easy, I'd like to go to Chinese more, but in the past week I've only been once. The real problem is I need to devote even more time outside the classroom to learning, which is time I don't really have much of. Hopefully my upcoming trip to Qingdao will help me - 5 days in a beach resort town home to the most famous beer brewery in all of China. If I can't relax after that, I'm afraid there is no peace to be found anywhere in China.
Beginning with my 8am alarm to make my 9am Chinese lesson and returning home around 10pm, my days often last over 14 hours before I can relax. Even when I can relax at night, I'll need to go to sleep within an hour or two of getting home, or I won't have enough energy to make it through the next day. I've discovered everyone needs 1 more hour of sleep than normal while in China (I blame the pollution for causing our bodies to slow down so much). This leaves me with almost no time to do things I enjoy on a daily basis, and my weekends are often spent catching up on sleep! It's not a life!
The sad solution is to skip my Chinese lessons in the morning, which I have been doing more and more often. I'm beginning to realize I likely won't ever become fluent and that certainly is a knock on the motivation to run my body ragged trying to learn. If I sleep in, I can have a relaxing morning, eat breakfast, and read a little bit before showing up to work at about 12:30. That's a bid difference than 9am, and I don't get to go home until my last class finishes at 9:30 either way.
I'm still learning to balance learning Chinese and having a life. It's not easy, I'd like to go to Chinese more, but in the past week I've only been once. The real problem is I need to devote even more time outside the classroom to learning, which is time I don't really have much of. Hopefully my upcoming trip to Qingdao will help me - 5 days in a beach resort town home to the most famous beer brewery in all of China. If I can't relax after that, I'm afraid there is no peace to be found anywhere in China.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
TLC
With employees separated from friends and family, working odd hours in a city where the language is foreign, EF strives to find fun exciting activities to engage and reward their teachers for a job well done. The department that does this is called the Teacher Life Club, or TLC for short. Recently they held a traditional Chinese rice paper painting course, as well as a morning Tai Chi practice. Well after signing up for both, I slept through the Tai Chi (getting up at dawn is too steep a price to pay for spiritual enlightenment), I did manage to attend the painting course.
Another picture from Suzou, this is the ancient gate to the city. It was unclear if it was rebuilt or is still the original, I'm going to assume it, like most things in China, is not original. These pictures of Suzou don't really capture what the city looks like today however. Suzou suffered more than most cities in the 'Great Leap Forward', with many of the old estate homes and narrow streets and canals turned into generic any city bland commercial centers. Its quite tragic because Suzou, while not a naturally beautiful city, seems to have once been a beautiful city through the efforts of its inhabitants.
With an expert teacher who only spoke Chinese, and a translator or two, about 5 teachers 
including myself attempted to learn this ancient art form. We struggled to first learn a chicken, which looked nothing like a chicken until we added feet, who knew they were so important? Then we learned the art of painting bamboo, a skill our master had crafted over the past 40 years. Whenever our master wasn't happy with our work, instead of explaining our errors to us, which was linguistically impossible, he would forcefully, yet gently, grab our hands still holding our brushes and guide our strokes. Though far from being an expert, I'd say my work isn't half bad; and after seeing the creation of my own hands, I don't think I'll need to buy any bamboo paintings now.
including myself attempted to learn this ancient art form. We struggled to first learn a chicken, which looked nothing like a chicken until we added feet, who knew they were so important? Then we learned the art of painting bamboo, a skill our master had crafted over the past 40 years. Whenever our master wasn't happy with our work, instead of explaining our errors to us, which was linguistically impossible, he would forcefully, yet gently, grab our hands still holding our brushes and guide our strokes. Though far from being an expert, I'd say my work isn't half bad; and after seeing the creation of my own hands, I don't think I'll need to buy any bamboo paintings now.Some of the events they will be offering in the future include concerts, day trips to nearby cities and more Tai Chi. Its a great (free) way to experience some of the Chinese culture I miss by living in Shanghai and speaking English while hanging out with Westerners mostly.
Another picture from Suzou, this is the ancient gate to the city. It was unclear if it was rebuilt or is still the original, I'm going to assume it, like most things in China, is not original. These pictures of Suzou don't really capture what the city looks like today however. Suzou suffered more than most cities in the 'Great Leap Forward', with many of the old estate homes and narrow streets and canals turned into generic any city bland commercial centers. Its quite tragic because Suzou, while not a naturally beautiful city, seems to have once been a beautiful city through the efforts of its inhabitants.Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Blue jeans, zip-up hoodie, faded baseball cap and a Coca-Cola
I am closer to Daivd Beckham than I've ever been before - I know what it feels like to be an international super-star. As I cruise the streets of Shanghai I usually get a glance here or there. I am after all, one of less than a few hundred thousand westerners in a country of more than a billion. But when I walked the streets of Suzou you'd have though it was Brad Pitt himself walking the street with the number of heads that turned. Dan was the center of attention, where ever he went.
People were obsessed with looking at me, taking pictures of me, having their kids speak to me. Aside from the numerous not so subtle photos taken of me as I passed on the street or through the temple, one man even asked to have his picture taken with me, as though I was a noteworthy person to show his friends that he met. Mothers brought children outside, prodding them to say 'nye' which we took to be a halfway point between 'hi' and 'ni hao'. With my new found knowledge of Chinese I could hear everyone talking about 'the American man' as I walked past them. While waiting for my train home in the train station, a group of 12 men, full grown men, gathered around me to watch me look at my pictures. I was the village celibrity.
My travel partner was a girl from England, and whenever we separated, nobody paid any 
attention to her, but continued focus solely on me. It wasn't until we realized this that we were able to pinpoint the true essence of why I was so popular: the baseball cap. Nobody wears a baseball hat like an American, its our passion, our pastime.
attention to her, but continued focus solely on me. It wasn't until we realized this that we were able to pinpoint the true essence of why I was so popular: the baseball cap. Nobody wears a baseball hat like an American, its our passion, our pastime.Perhaps more than any other nationality, the 'American' uniform is easily identified - blue jeans, zip-up hoodie, faded baseball cap and a Coca-Cola in hand. I fit into the ideal for the good American stereotype (not the shorts, socks and sneakers with a Hawaiian shirt and giant camera around my neck stereotype... no sir not me). If you ever want to wonder what its like to have the paparazzi follow you, doff a baseball cap on your head and head to Suzou; I bet Brad Pitt doesn't get half the looks.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Tomb Sweeping
This past Friday was national Tomb Sweeping Holiday in China. The idea is to go, very solemnly, with your family to the graves of your forebears and sweep their tomb. Whenever I press for more details (ceremonial food, rituals, etc.) I'm met with a short dumbfounded reply paramount to - "Nothing interesting happens on this day, we hate to do this, but we have to. Trust me I'd rather be sleeping/shopping/playing video games." I suggested the use of a vacuum, instead of a broom, to better remove the dirt from the grave; my suggestion was also met with dumbfounded glances.
With my long weekend I took a trip to the canal city of Suzou. It's called 'Venice of the East' because it has so many canals, but Venice it ain't. A little dirty and dingy, and far too scared by China's last few decades of urban advancement at the sake of historical preservation, Suzou is now a city with pockets of intense beauty, scattered around the dreary gray which palls every city in China.
Having been a great resort city for the wealthy in the Ming and Qing dynasties (read that as the last two dynasties before everything went to hell in a hand basket), Suzou is famous for its excellent and diverse Chinese Gardens. These gardens, in opposition to English or western gardens, are smaller contained spaces which marry water and crazy rock formations to flowers and pagodas. The Chinese word for landscape is literally 'mountain' and 'water' together, so these gardens are mini-representations of the landscape.
Being just small enough to explore on foot, we trekked around until the point of exhaustion, scouting between the different gardens, museums and temples. It was nice to be out of Shanghai for a weekend, and the timing couldn't have been better to come to Suzou - the cherry blossoms were all in full bloom.
With my long weekend I took a trip to the canal city of Suzou. It's called 'Venice of the East' because it has so many canals, but Venice it ain't. A little dirty and dingy, and far too scared by China's last few decades of urban advancement at the sake of historical preservation, Suzou is now a city with pockets of intense beauty, scattered around the dreary gray which palls every city in China.
Having been a great resort city for the wealthy in the Ming and Qing dynasties (read that as the last two dynasties before everything went to hell in a hand basket), Suzou is famous for its excellent and diverse Chinese Gardens. These gardens, in opposition to English or western gardens, are smaller contained spaces which marry water and crazy rock formations to flowers and pagodas. The Chinese word for landscape is literally 'mountain' and 'water' together, so these gardens are mini-representations of the landscape.
Being just small enough to explore on foot, we trekked around until the point of exhaustion, scouting between the different gardens, museums and temples. It was nice to be out of Shanghai for a weekend, and the timing couldn't have been better to come to Suzou - the cherry blossoms were all in full bloom.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
Chinese people choose really weird English names. I understand to some degree the need for Chinese people to adopt an English name; unless you were a Mandarin major at Shanghai University you won't be able to pronounce any of them. The problem is they never want to settle for regular names, so you can throw the 'top baby names of the year' list when guessing Chinese people's names. Every name I'm about to tell you is the chosen English name of students I teach, so trust me all these names are real
Some students choose names of famous celebrities. This is probably the best and most reasonable way to choose English names. Phoebe is named after the character in friends; Fred is named after Fred Flinstone - simple but effective. Sometimes, this goes terribly wrong, as is the case with 'Cornfield'. He likes the star of Prison Break, Michael Scofield, so he wanted a name with 'field' in it and chose 'corn'. Bad choice, Cornfield.
Then there is 'Aphrolinde'. She originally chose to be called 'Aphrodite, but people suggested that has more negative overtones than she'd like, so she changed it to 'Aphrolinde'. The best part is that this is one of the quietest, most shy girls in our school!
But some students actually found a way to choose a ridiculous name which makes you pause and go, "Heck Yeah!" The first two that come to mind are 'Future' and 'Nike'. Not sure how 'Future' got her name, but 'Nike' is named after his shoes. Another surprisingly alright name is 'Sunflower'. Rounding out this category would be the slightly confused student named 'Professor'.
On the other hand, I don't yet have a Chinese name. If I chose 'Dan', it would translate to being a royal reddish color, but that's way not cool enough. I'm looking for something closer to 'great warrior of intellect' or something, perhaps 'he who sleeps with buffalo'. Whatever I choose, it won't be 'Cornfield'.
Some students choose names of famous celebrities. This is probably the best and most reasonable way to choose English names. Phoebe is named after the character in friends; Fred is named after Fred Flinstone - simple but effective. Sometimes, this goes terribly wrong, as is the case with 'Cornfield'. He likes the star of Prison Break, Michael Scofield, so he wanted a name with 'field' in it and chose 'corn'. Bad choice, Cornfield.
Then there is 'Aphrolinde'. She originally chose to be called 'Aphrodite, but people suggested that has more negative overtones than she'd like, so she changed it to 'Aphrolinde'. The best part is that this is one of the quietest, most shy girls in our school!
But some students actually found a way to choose a ridiculous name which makes you pause and go, "Heck Yeah!" The first two that come to mind are 'Future' and 'Nike'. Not sure how 'Future' got her name, but 'Nike' is named after his shoes. Another surprisingly alright name is 'Sunflower'. Rounding out this category would be the slightly confused student named 'Professor'.
On the other hand, I don't yet have a Chinese name. If I chose 'Dan', it would translate to being a royal reddish color, but that's way not cool enough. I'm looking for something closer to 'great warrior of intellect' or something, perhaps 'he who sleeps with buffalo'. Whatever I choose, it won't be 'Cornfield'.
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