Rain

The weather the past few days has been beautiful; high seventies and sunny (or as sunny as we get here). However before this onslaught of wonderful summer Shanghai was confronted with about two straight weeks of rain! I can already hear you saying, ‘but Dan, you love rain!’ And it’s true; I love it in all forms: light rain, heavy rain, and misty rain… all fantastic. I just don’t love Shanghai rain.

When it rains here, instead of becoming mysterious like other cities do, Shanghai’s dirt and pollution are brought to the forefront of the daily experience. The inescapable feeling that this rain is somehow eating away at your skin, dissolving your watch, or could be bottled and sold as a household bathroom cleaner called ‘chock-full-o-acid’.

Crossing the streets becomes perilous, not because of the dimwitted drivers, but because like the Everglades it is a slow moving river of mud. I’ve learned not to step on the ‘white’ strips of the crosswalk because when covered in mud they are far more slippery than any winter ice I’ve encountered back home. When drainage doesn’t work properly there is a puddle of sludge eerily the same color as the ma-la-tong soup I had last night. If any of this gets on your clothes you have a 50-1 shot of becoming the 5th Ninja Turtle.

To top it off, the Chinese love umbrellas. I’ve done extensive studies and polls and discovered that nobody over six feet tall uses an umbrella because of the unknown social unrest and horror they cause – they poke us tall people in the eye!! With umbrellas every where in China (for both sunshine and rain), I hopelessly try to meander my way down the sidewalk, navigating huge umbrellas jamming the walk, ducking and dodging every last pointy end. It’s such a frustrating and maddening experience the best option is usually to just walk in the street and take my chances with Shredder.