One Night In Nanjing

"Wait, Dan, you didn't tell us anything about Nanjing!!"

So true. So, what do four expats on holiday in the historic city of Nanjing get up to on a Saturday night? Well, let me tell you from personal experience, it's far worse on a person's body than you might expect. Let me explain:

Me and my three travel buddies (my girlfriend Adrienne, and two other co-workers Cortney and Alison), had just left the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom Museum for a stroll around the restored old part of town near the Confucius temple. The museum gave an awesome PRC slant to this group of rebels (we call it 'The Taiping Rebellion, after all), which disregarded their fanatical, crazy brand of Christianity (the leader claimed to be Jesus's brother) and puritanical laws which would John Carver would protest to, and instead claimed them a sovereign 'kingdom' defending the rights of the poor peasantry in imperialist occupied China. Good stuff.

As I was saying, we'd just left and walked around Fuzimiao (the old town, which as you can see from the lights, was doing it's best to look young and hip). Stopping in an ice cream parlor to get off our feet, we asked the waitress a good place for dinner or drinks. Our conversation was strained, half in English, half in Chinese, but all she kept repeating was "One Nine One Two". So we hopped in a taxi and shouted "Yi Jiu Yi Er" and were whisked away to a giant complex called, well "1912" filled with bars and restaurants. After downing a considerable amount of hot pot, a wonderful dinning experience where they boil a pot of broth on your table then bring you plates full of raw vegetables and meat, which you can cook, season and eat at your leisure, we found a hip bar playing live western music (live Chinese music is called karaoke and is to be avoided). After playing a few hours of a game which involves dice, gambling and bluffing, we decided to turn in so we would be refreshed for our sightseeing the next day and sought out a taxi.

The taxi ride, however led our night astray. We were going home, we were going to sleep, but we were hungry. If you're hungry in China and it's after 11pm, there is unfortunately only one place to go - McDonald's. We informed our driver half way home of his new task, finding a 24-hour McDonald's. After the first 24 hour McDonald's was closed (how can a 24 hour restaurant be closed?!) we arrived at the promised land of quarter pounder goodness. Had we gone home that night we would have only caused our self dietary harm, unfortunately we weren't smart enough to do that: someone proposed a relaxing massage and all agreed. Our fate was sealed.

We eagerly sought a massage parlor, hailing a taxi whose driver delighted us in telling us that she knew of two places. The first place she took us too was covered in bright neon lights outside. We sent an emissary to check out the situation, while the rest of us had waited in the car. The response was something to do with 'men only' and 'shower' - we suspected it was one of the 'for men, by men, in the shower' massage joints. We moved on.

The next place was a hole in the wall, but didn't involve showers and was only 5 bucks for an hour massage. Never mind that it was dodgy and dirty ( just look at the picture!), it seemed perfect. It seemed. Perhaps my massage artists had been woken up by our 1am arrival; perhaps my artist had just broken up with her boyfriend; perhaps my artist had a hatred of westerners; or perhaps she just didn't like me. Whatever the reason, the next hour was reminiscent of what I expect a few minutes in a boxing ring with a kangaroo would feel like. She hammered away, push pressure points, bruising my bones, muscles and self-esteem in the process. It was far from a relaxing massage.

The next morning when we woke, we had a full day of sightseeing planned. Aching, we dragged ourselves around the top tourist sights, imagining how great we could have felt had we just skipped that darn massage. Our last stop on the day was Dr. Sun Yat-Sen's Mausoleum. The first president of the Republic of China after the last dynasty in 1912, he is considered the many to be the father of modern China. He was also a hug advocate of steps.

Taiping Rebellion. McDonald's. Massage. Stairs. Nanjing.