Falling off the bar

I promised 5 near death experiences. The truth is none of the rest are nearly as exciting; in fact 3 of them involved boats. The helplessness of a person on a boat is nearly equal to that of a person on a airplane, however boating accidents are way more common. Sure I can swim, hell I used to be a lifeguard, but when the seas can swallow a winabago and not even burp even Michael Phelps new suit couldn't save him. Thankfully these are called 'near death experiences'.

The first boating accident occured in Cambodia, off the coastline of Shianoukville. We'd chosen a windy, windy day to go out snorkelling (which we couldn't do, because it was windy), on a beautiful river boat. The problem with a 'river boat' on ocean swells is... it's prone to tip over!!! Mercifully, it didn't, but the boat was rocking so hard 'Pearl Jam' would have been jealous. The bartender told us "don't worry, but for your safety you should hold onto the bar so you don't tip off your stool." And it would have been good advice had not three waves later the bar litterly lifted off, broke in two and sent me hurtling to the floor in a cumble of glass, dishes and bar stools. Meanwhile, the boat chose not to stop pitching, making removal from the rubble rather difficult. In the end I escaped with only a small piece of glass caught in my foot (removed by a nurse who happened to be aborad). I had escaped a near death experience!

I should have taken the hint and stayed off boats for the rest of the trip, but I didn't. I got on boats again and again and again...